today was supposedly our first week together, but it all ended yesterday.
through those days when you were wooing me, i agree, i have the feelings for you. therefore i accepted you and asked you to be my boyfriend, i was very clear in mind at that point of time that i will accept you for who you are.
for the first few days, we were really sweet, messaging one another so much in a day.
but things got different from Tuesday, i was really to depressed over my sister's problem and i just don't wish to talk to anyone, and i didn't reply your message. you then showed me attitude, that i am not sharing my problems with you when you are my boyfriend, but do you even understand how agonised i was and i can't even control my feelings?
but that problem was soon resolved.
the next day, you messaged me right when you were awake. but i was still not really in the mood to be sweet talking to you, however, i had to put on a fake front and text you all those things which i thing would make you happy.
and somehow, in the evening, you were just so random about the opening of a bank account. i merely asked why is there a need to do so when we already have our individual ones out of curiosity and you told me you were unhappy with that question. from that point of time, i started thinking. your random mood had really affected me so much, throughout the days when you are wooing me till those days we were together. you are very persistent, stubborn, selfish, over sensitive and really hard to understand.
i don't understand why you just want to be better than 'him', all you have to do is just have to be yourself, be understanding but not trying to give me the utmost happiness and everything, No. if there is love, true understanding between us, the happiness will follow.
your willful thinking brought me to want to meet you today to talk to you, point out the problems that lies in our relationship, and the problem in you.
but you argued with the time to meet yesterday night, pushing it so early and reducing my resting time. i gave you my reasons but you insisted on coming to my place at 8am and you can rest. did you ever spare a thought for me? what do you expect me to do while you are resting?
it was so much pain and courage talking to you throughout our 29minutes of talk over the phone. all the words that came out from my mouth are really so hurtful but i have no choice, in hope that all this can go into your mind, make you think through, and eventually, grow up..
you plead me, you promise you will change just for another chance. i was really horrible in giving this straight answer of NO. and your last question really strucked me "All this while, do you even love me?" the answer is yes, but your problems had thoroughly overtaken the feelings i had for you.
i tried to fight this bad feelings down, but it took over me. i guess i heard you cried, it made my heart aches totally, but i have to be strong, to end this agony of the both of us. i always play the role of the mean person in the relationship. finally, you asked me " So there is no chance that we can still be together again?" i was really begging you that you will still be my friend, but when i gave you the answer of No, you just hang up and left me in a blank. that is the end for you and me.
i hope that you can really move on from this,
don't probe over this so much, i apologise that i cannot accept the way you show me your love and concern. please do take care of yourself and i do hope to be able to stand by your side and give you support in time of needs, as a friend.
