Thursday, May 28, 2009
you are just too self-centered,
over sensitive,
and you just stand so strongly in your own perceptions.
you lacks the sense of security and need love and care on a 24/7 basis.
you get emotional so randomly that i do not know how to handle,
creating misunderstanding everyday to make us drift further apart
but you call it a way of understanding one another's feelings better.
but do you even understand how i feel?
you labelled me as being too stress,
with school, projects, exams and previously, my friend.
but the problem that actually disturbs me at interval, is the problem of you.
within this short period of time,
i was on the verge of telling you " I GIVE UP "
but on the other hand, my conscience stopped me.
i cannot be so selfish and irresponsible like how your ex(s) were,
somebody ought to point out your mistakes, enlighten you,
and bring you to the right path in life!
although it might not be totally me, i still hope to play my part well as a friend.
thing don't change overnight,
and i don't force you to change immediately.
i am holding back whatever i am feeling right now,
but i am soon breaking down.
i am a human, i have my own limits.
i am really tired now,
over these 3 problem filling days.
exam dates are drawing real close and i really need to concentrate.
but do you understand where the real problem lies?
you are flooding me with messages once every 5 to 10mins even when i don't respond to you,
and when there is no response,
your thinking runs wild.
and it really stress me up totally.
sometimes i just don't know what to reply to you,
i tried to be sweet to you but it was really hard on my part as those words weren't fully from what i am feeling deep within..
i have no more energy to run this race with you anymore,
it is just too exhausting and,
i really want to give up and catch a breath.
you say that i didn't accept the way you are while you have accepted mine.
but do you know that you are really hard to even be understood?
so how to you expect me to accept.
you gets upset over this issue and refuses accepting any comments.
in this way, would you get to learn?
you don't understand just how much effort i had put in.
you say that i am leaving you alone out there,
not caring about your well-beings,
but in fact, i am standing so much into your feelings and holding on with such difficulties hoping that you would change a bit.
you don't understand how bad and confused i am feeling now
holding on or letting go?
the question pops up in my mind frequently.
the painful thing to say is,
i am living on better without you, i realise it.
during the period of time when my phone was silent from anything from you,
it was really peaceful.
i can really feel the joy with my friends.
now my laptop is turning mad on me too,
and i am seriously breaking down very very soon from all this problems,
if not for all those friends who are reaching out a helping hand to me in various ways,
i cannot imagine how i would be now.
through all this typings,
i think i know what my decision is now.
i just have to confirm it, and be responsible for this decision.
and, you just don't understand a single thing.
nothing..
11:01:00 PM
