Firstly, this post is going to be super wordy, so you can just go on and hop to another blog if you don't like reading.
Secondly, friends who can't accept changes in others, please just read the PURPLE paragraph right at the bottom.
Lastly, friends who are concerned and sort of worried about me all this while, please do read the GREEN paragraph too..
thank you.
sometimes, we should actually trust those "superstitious" zodiac readings and everything.. i was trying to check the date on the calendar around the house and happen to flip to a page where it says about the love, career, wealth and health of people born in the year of Goat. it shows that the Goat will face wealth situations during the period of June but things will start to change in July onwards.
well, look at me. my luck was so bad like nobody's business during June, but now, i sense changes already. i fought my way through, and finally, i caught the slightest glimpse of light. though my mum haven't talk to me for coming 3weeks and my savings are drying up, i am jobless.. i never gave up.. i told myself that i have to stand strong no matter what,
i went job hunting through the net, approached the careperson for help because i know that i cannot just rely on financial schemes all the time as sometimes, i would sort of misuse the funds for something else which may be deem as misusing it. i don't know how to put it, but i spoke to Mr Tan this afternoon and he shared with me that some students applied for the financial scheme and then use the funds to buy a new gadget.. well, the last time i got mine, i went for Swensen's. but i swear, that was part of my project and i did use it to buy the concession for school and save up the rest.. i never misuse it!
ok, i have been selected to work as a waitress at some restaurant or something during the F1 event but the weird thing is, we have to pay $5 for the training? and another email from the school about working in the school. so yes, my luck is changing for the better. and i hope it isn't like some roller coaster which goes damn high after some low turns then plunge damn badly. i would just totally break down like madness.
during the period of 'down-ness' or maybe depression period, i cried suddely after using the computer, my sleep time changed and i became a nocturnal animal. many times, i wanted to smoke, i stole 2 cigs from my dad, smoked one and had another one still in my bag, a little squashed.
but i guess i could only totally get out of this depression zone when everything starts to have significant change. nevertheless, i will still be displaying a cheerful front. :)
once again, i sincerely apologise to friends who really care about me and had always been there whenever i need help that this time, i didn't tell you my problems this time round but just bury myself in the darkest corner. but i think sometimes people just need to be alone to think through their own problems and eventually learn from it, get stronger. i won't resort to any suicidal thoughts, because i am scared of the pain and death, so don't worry. however, i would just have a period of time when i am behaving totally not like me.
so friends, this is Kamy, everchanging.. if you think that this kind of friend isn't your type or anything, i won't mind if you leave. because in life, there are many things that are unexpected it would cause people to change. whatever your decision, that is up to you because, this is me, accept me for who i am. (:
