ok, i realise that would be super long-winded and hard to read in my tagboard so i decided to type it in here..
Angela and Joycelyn.. it is spelled as smudging anyway. 8)
in reply to the both of you
i don't like friends to be crying with me, cause i will feel bad seeing them sad over me. and i just think that it isn't good to disturb you when you are busy. well, that is me though. i don't like to imply too much on my friends, i know you care and all.
thanks for being there for me all the time, but sometimes i think others have their own problem to cope too, so it isn't nice to add on yours to them. everyone needs a breather. plus, i think the reason to the start of this misunderstanding is really stupid and others might think, why i just can't give in? all this pain are solely my own problems and everything, i am just gaining sympathy. i wanted so much to give in, but my mum just don't even look at me. so how do i make the approach? do you think that i really like having a cold war with my mum? it hurts me so much to even ask myself "When and in what kind of situation then we will reconcile?". so i had no choice but to stand strong take what is happening to myself, bear the consequences and live on with life as it is. though it is tough, but i believe when i look back in the future, it might be a good memory. who knows? life is not beating me down, so don't worry. i am standing strong! i am sensing some hope in my life now, and though it is so minimal, but it is good enough for me. i can withstand the hunger with all my fats everywhere, they are so much to burn away, so don't worry, i won't die from hunger or cold. :D i am really glad to have friends like you around. my sincere apologise for those worries that i had caused you.
